I am Angry at Myths

Believing the myths of morphine are hindering peaceful deaths and triggering inappropriate guilt trips of survivors.┬áThe nation wide belief in myths regarding morphine is getting in the way of the dying’s biggest fears, that their pain will not be managed to their preferences.

Some physicians, nurses, medication aides and families are afraid patients will die on their watch because they administer a “comfort drug” such as morphine.

What are you believing?



Love Wins

No matter what phase of a health crisis you are in, no matter who it is you are talking with about treatment choices LOVE wins!

Kindness, concern, time, compassion, thoughtfulness, carefulness (aka love) will finish the race upright.

Love allows us to live with hope… LOVE wins!


Personalized Care

If someone were to ask me what I want in a caregiver, one word I would use for sure is personalized. Meaning?

I want you to call me by name, find out what I want or don’t want, what I think I need and what I want to try out as you care for me. Find out why I say no or yes and learn more about me than just my words. Watch my mannerisms, learn my nonverbal communication and give it a go at reading my face.

Guess personalized means you have to give me your time…



Myth verses Truth

Myth: ┬áBeing a “caregiver” is a burden.

Truth: Being a “caregiver” can be tiresome, but is never a regret.



Care givers…please believe me, you are doing a wonderful act of human kind. From the outside, from our side of watching and praying, you are doing far better than you can even imagine. Your acts of kindness are not hidden. Persevere, we are on the sidelines cheering you on, just like the fans at the Boston Marathon.


Voices of Grief

A bazillion words could be used to document the voices of grief. Those expressions come from a place in our lives where we regularly do not live life. When they get come out of us though… what depth of ourselves we experience!

Our breath gets taken away and we force ourselves to inhale. Moans, sobs, whimpers and such hot tears can flow from within. Let alone the words that come out during grief that can be full of love or full of sadness.

The voices of grief are around us every day, are we hearing what is being said?



A Perfect Quote

I know there are pros and cons regarding life insurance, but I read a headline that just has to be quoted. As you read the headline, also think about life in general and ways you wish you could turn the clock back.

“Husbands seldom believe in life insurance but widows always do”


One Word

Just one little word of encouragement sure does go a long way. No matter what that one word is, the key is encouragement.

How many times are we near the edge or up against the wall with no real idea where to turn… and then comes that one little word of encouragement. Someone says a phrase or gives us a kind thought and all of a sudden…! BAM! We become energized or at minimum find the next step in our process.

Just one little word of encouragement. I hope I am not holding back on that one word which may be someone’s key to moving along in their life.


Why Would You Believe Me?

As a nurse, I am thinking about this question. Why would any one believe what I am telling them? What is it that I have done to earn their trust and gain a place of competence for their situations?

People, sickly vulnerable people are place in positions of having to trust care givers in a very fast paced way.

Let’s not forget putting integrity and compassion together quickly for them. Their dignity is a risk!






The Ole Onion

“Being a Friend to a Griever” is an article from Bill Austin. This quote is worth sharing with my readers. “When we think about helping a griever with their many feelings, it is important to remember that talking about feelings is like peeling an onion. There are layers. Once you talk about one layer there is another beneath that, so it is is important to be able to talk about feelings more than one time.”

Another reminder…the source of these “many feelings” is a “broken heart.”

© 2014. Copyright Jackie J Bates. Designed by Artillery Media