Stick to the Plan

For health and wellness, there is nothing better than sticking to the plan. Proven guidelines and coordinated steps are pretty sure to get you to “health and wellness.”

Well then, what in the world do we do when there is a wrench thrown into the plan? Illness, disability, major crisis of any kind can interrupt the good intentions of a plan.

Have you ever felt the grief or the frustration of not being able to stick to the plan? Do you know those intense emotions when the plan is nothing but a loss or a thing of the past?

Terminal illness does that to the extreme. Nothing stays normal or routine. Sticking to the plan may mean no matter what…kindness, thankfulness and flexibility are the plan.


Off the Radar

Have you noticed there are a few people that have been missing in your normal routines lately? Is there someone who normally is in your social circle, faith group, exercise class, but lately they have been gone?

When caregivers are off the radar, you can be sure exhaustion will be part of the reason your friend is missing.

This is when a caregiver  could use a hand, maybe two hands. An encouraging word through a card, a meal delivered or run some errands for them and help carry their load. Perhaps you could even consider being the caregiver for a couple days.

Being off the radar may be a caregivers new normal…do what you can to not loose track of caregivers and help prevent them from loosing heart.


Anniversary Days

I know the excitement throughout the year to celebrate certain dates; anniversaries, birthdays, spiritual marker days, meeting a lifelong friend…any date qualifies.

Why? Because the bottom line is that a time in history marks an impacting event in a person’s life. That marker means “at this moment in time” my life changed and either went a new direction or took on a new level of intensity.

No one knows those Anniversary days like you do. They are in-bedded inside of your heart and mind and may be just for you to recall.

Enjoy, celebrate and be motivated into your life…


One Reason

Some folks just can not reconcile the inevitable fact of a person dying. The obvious fact of death coming soon will not motivate or prepare them for engaging in end-of-life preparations. It isn’t necessarily denial, but a no thank you, I am not going to approach my loved one’s death by embracing the dying part of their life.

And so…this is one reason 1/3rd of the clients receiving hospice will die within 7 days of the start of care. These are the clients and family members who do not get the full benefit of the team, a benefit that peaks near 60 days of service.



When you lay your head down to sleep tonight, will you do so saying “today I lived well?” Is there anything unresolved that needs to be thought through before sleep?

Today is almost over.


When Faced with…

Much of my work is to facilitate conversations regarding topics to prepare for end of life. I realize there is a huge difference in talking about these topics in preparation verses when actually faced with a life threatening diagnosis.

There are many conversations that are worthy of the hypothetical. Topics include financial preparation, legal preparations, what to do with belongings and sharing wishes as we know them today.

So what about the day, when we are literally face to face with life changing news? This will be when we have to talk it out and have to give our point of view. It is then the threatening emotions and facts of life press us in to choices and decisions.

Let’s consider now, just how game we are to listen, breath through the crisis and give the attention to the topic in our face.


How to Get Ready

How do you get ready for something you are dreading?

Perhaps I could turn this blog in to a comedy routine! You know, the classic anxieties in life, rubbing shoulders with real life. Where crisis and change and vulnerability wrestle with each other and it becomes a combination of really sad and really comical.

We all have our ways to get ready for anything; some prepare, some cram, some avoid and some fight against.

I’m just asking…how do you get ready for something you are dreading?

I’m just asking…


Seniors and Children thereof…

Here is a link to a “risk meter” that I think would be helpful for you and the family to prevent hospitalizations. Even if it is just for a conversation starter. Click Here




Research and Development

Isn’t this the most interesting combination of words? To me there is excitement and an indication of progress.

Yet, have you ever been around someone with a terminal illness and there comes an opportunity to take part in a “trial”? The opportunity to help someone else with a particular disease or the chance that maybe the research will be the one that cures.

Oh the decisions to make in life…may the choices made be met with peace, satisfaction and reward.



Suddenly: ¬†when something happens immediately after your last breath or memory. It’s next on the timeline of life. Nothing else is in between.

An amazing piece of advise came to me from a co-worker in hospice, a bereavement coordinator…one who follows up with the survivors after a death and facilitates conversations and processes in their grief.

She is the one who asked me if I was going to be willing to still love my friend (who had a child die suddenly) in “her new life.” Suddenly lives change, relationship styles become different, because life changes in unique ways…

Suddenly…and then we begin adjusting.

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