When Faced with…

Much of my work is to facilitate conversations regarding topics to prepare for end of life. I realize there is a huge difference in talking about these topics in preparation verses when actually faced with a life threatening diagnosis.

There are many conversations that are worthy of the hypothetical. Topics include financial preparation, legal preparations, what to do with belongings and sharing wishes as we know them today.

So what about the day, when we are literally face to face with life changing news? This will be when we have to talk it out and have to give our point of view. It is then the threatening emotions and facts of life press us in to choices and decisions.

Let’s consider now, just how game we are to listen, breath through the crisis and give the attention to the topic in our face.


Broken Spirits

I have been trying to process through the concept of denial during a terminal illness. The longer I consider the word and think about situations where it shows up, the more empathetic I am becoming.

At first, denial seems to cause a knee jerk reaction. The view-point is someone is being resistant, refusing, avoiding and not coping appropriately. Frustration is usually not far away from any conversation.

A little further into this process of examining denial, I see people giving clues to the dept of their broken spirits. They are in not just in a coping style, but a survival mode. Their senses are dulled and reasoning travels a whole different path.

Have you ever said this type of comment? “They just aren’t listening!!!” “Can’t they see…??”

Perhaps we need to add into the equation they did not listen because their discouraged broken spirit and harsh situation interferes with their ability to hear. I wonder then…how much impact could encouragement and empathy have on their (and our…) ability to hear.


Don’t Tell Me Bout It!

Apparently this is the first type of sentence I  formed as a child…my poor parents and baby sitters!

How many of my readers can relate to these words as we face disabling diseases or tough news about a loved one?

Deep inside we all scream for the bad news not to be true…to be a mistake.

This is the turbo engine of life saying “give me another chance,” I can make it!

This is an awakening to “fight for life” as we know it.

This is human nature which has kicked in the “drive to live” longer.

“Don’t Tell Me Bout It” may be the attitude needed to persevere through a problem, until the final answer is revealed!


The Elephant

whitey age 50!


Do we really have to talk about the elephant in the room?




Something for you to mark on the calendar?

Marking an anniversary of a birth, wedding, life event and even a death may be really good for your soul. Not only can you be reminded to participate in a celebration, but also in reminiscing.  For our culture, remembering when there was a birth or a death can be an encouragement and reminder we are not alone.

It’s easy to see that reality in a birthday…but what about an anniversary of someone’s death?  Isn’t it morbid?  Isn’t it wrong to remind someone of a death?  Doesn’t a reminder stir bad  memories?

Bereavement specialists say no way!  An anniversary is an opportunity for review and remembering the life and influence someone has had in our lives, a celebration and yes, even a time of grieving…either response is an opportunity to attest to the worthiness of another life and not sweep it all under the rug.



Death Cafe’

Have you ever heard of such a term?  This is a growing concept and one that I am able to be in the middle of here in Lincoln Nebraska.

Feb. 6th there will be a group meeting at The LoveKnot in Lincoln from 4-6pm.  This is where we get together for conversation and beverages…and yes, talk about death and dying.

The goal?  To increase awareness of death and making the most of a finite life.  People have opportunities to meet with others, discuss experiences and perspectives with death and dying and spend quality time with a quality topic.

A second opportunity begins on Jan. 27th from 11:00 – 12:30 at NET in Lincoln.  OLLI is putting on a Death Cafe’. This one requests you to sign up because of limited seating.  Phone: 472-6265

Please consider coming to join us!


So Much…

Over this past week I have watched so much wisdom, so much energy in companies reaching out to people, so much above and beyond in providing help to our community.

On behalf of all the “LABOR” going on, I say thank you!  “Conversations” is out there laboring also.  I can see it working and fulfilling its purpose.  My encouragement meter has gone off the scale a couple of times!

On behalf of Labor Day and the extended weekend, be safe as you’re out continuing to do SO MUCH in good works.



Celebrating June 18, 2013

Very first “Custom Cover” order received today!  That means a company has chosen to place their own name and contact information/logo on the front cover of Conversations and provide the handbook to their client’s.

This is a mile marker for Conversations, but it is also a mile marker for the client’s and families who will receive the handbook and journal.  I know it will now make it’s way out of Lincoln and into the rural area…out where family and friends are more often the primary care givers as a terminal illness consumes life.

Let’s give a blessing and cheers to Conversations (and the undisclosed company) as it goes out and does its intended work.



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