The obvious:  there are verbal and non-verbal styles of communication.

The talkers, the verbal communicators, the “running jaws” in life are coping with end-of-life concerns by asking questions and thinking out loud.  Usually these folks are information seekers and are trying to calm their stress or express their personality by using words to process through their dilemma.  I am one of these communicators (usually) and could relate to a quote that said, “Why say it in 100 words when you can say it in 1000.”

Non-verbal communicators are processing inside.  By thinking and waiting verbally to express their private thoughts, which may not ever be spoken.  Going about their routine is not necessarily an avoidance pattern during a crisis, it may be how they are actively processing fear, grief, or the “I don’t know…” part of life.  Gestures, withdrawing or as a friend of mine calls it “cocooning,” can be their style of communicating and finding stress relief or a calm place to organize thoughts.

How critical it is for both styles to allow the other to be true to themselves.  The goal will be to give each other time and freedom in their process.  To bathe the relationship in acceptance and forgiveness, because either style will irritate and cause a friction against the other.

It is these unique styles of communication that places flavor in life and exposes the beauty of individuality.



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